Вот и разница
> The iterators returned by this class's iterator and listIterator methods are fail-fast: if the vector is structurally modified at any time after the iterator is created, in any way except through the iterator's own remove or add methods, the iterator will throw a ConcurrentModificationException. Thus, in the face of concurrent modification, the iterator fails quickly and cleanly, rather than risking arbitrary, non-deterministic behavior at an undetermined time in the future.
А как ведёт себя std::vector?